students and pride

So this is our third week on campus. We are still unofficial, but we have students! We spent weeks contacting students and trying to build interest the best we could without being allowed to officially recruit. I am happy to say that last week was our first real Bible study and not only did students come, but they seem committed and excited to be meeting with us.

We have to decided to use a system of books called Designed for Discipleship for our ministry to study.  The books are designed for believers and non-believers alike and ask really simple question that can open up into deep conversation. Last week we talked with the girls about being made in God's image and what that really means for us. I was really encouraged by the questions they asked and how willing they were to open up and go deep with us.

We are still praying for a faculty advisor. Until we have one who is willing to sign the papers for us, we can not apply to become an official campus organization. Essentially this means we cannot recruit on a large scale, hang flyers, rent rooms, etc. We have talked as a staff team about not treating these things that we perceive as walls as actual walls. If we do not believe that God is big enough to move in the hearts of this campus, then what are we doing here?

As far as my own heart, God is working on the P word. Pride. Dangit.

I tell myself so often that I am not prideful. Which is pretty delusional of me.

Ultimately, this ministry is God's. That includes all the work I try to commend myself for, the money I fundraise, and the girls I meet with. It is HIS. So why am I so afraid to look like a fool for God? How will protecting my status further His kingdom? One days when I am too afraid to make funding calls or approach strangers on campus, pride infests my heart. What if they say no? What if they make fun of me? I have been praying prayers for humble boldness in place of my pride.

"And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this is mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints. Pray also for me, that whenever I open my mouth, word may be given me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel, for which I am an ambassador in chains. Pray that I may declare it fearlessly as I should." Ephesians 6:18-20