thanksgiving

I thought it would be fitting to kick this month off with a moment of thankfulness. The picture you see above was taken last night at our weekly Akron Navs dinner.  Now let me tell you a story. 

In January of 2012, I unofficially committed to help a team of people from Oxford, Ohio start a new Navigator ministry in Akron, OH. I didn't know any of them. I didn't know the campus. I didn't know if we would have any students at all. There were too many uncertainties to count, but I also knew that God was undeniably leading me to the University of Akron. By May I was officially committed and in August we kicked off our first year on campus.

Not too long after that we initiated weekly dinners as a way to create a family environment within our ministry. Also, since we were so small we didn't have a large group meeting (still don't) and dinners gave the students a neutral event to bring friends to. Our very first dinners had two students. By second semester we had grown to between 5 and 7 students attending. Last night 11 students came. (And there were some who couldn't make it who are usually there). We have grown to the point that we are sitting on random stools and sharing chairs around the Graham's two dining room tables. Last week there were no leftovers. This week I had to make desert in two 13x9 dishes. It's awesome! And to think that all this has happened primarily through word-of mouth.

Praise the Lord for his faithfulness! Our theme verse for Akron Navs this year is Ephesians 3:20-21. "Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen." We are praying this over the ministry, over our lives, over our students...and we are watching God provide in truly immeasurable ways. 

I have been challenging myself to pray for big things. I want to always view God as an "immeasurably more" God...not to see what I can get, but because that is just how powerful he is. Because if I really trust him, then why am I afraid to ask for the big stuff? I love that God cares about every little thing and every big thing in our lives. We are of the utmost worth to him...he loves us so much and he wants us to ask him for things in faith. (Matthew 10:29-31, Matthew 21:22)

Today I am thankful for a growing ministry, a bible study filled with young women who desire to know Jesus and make him known, a beautiful home that far exceeds what I deserve or could afford on my own, the return of the gingerbread latte, living in a place where I can openly talk about my faith, the money to buy new tires when I need them, wonderful roommates who want to take screen-printing classes with me and surprise me with treats (food may be the way to my heart...) and are seeking the Lord with their whole lives, and the fact that I live 5 minutes from one of the best thrift stores in the country. 

And as much as I don't want to forget that God is an immeasurably more God, I also don't want to forget that my response to his provision is praise. "Shout for joy to the Lord, all the earth.Worship the Lord with gladness; come before him with joyful songs. Know that the Lord is God. It is he who made us, and we are his; we are his people, the sheep of his pasture. Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise; give thanks to him and praise his name. For the Lord is good and his love endures forever; his faithfulness continues through all generations." (Psalm 100) I serve a good, good God who would be worthy of praise for the sole fact that he redeemed me...but he keeps on blessing me and providing for me in ways I would never think of on my own. This deal is just too sweet.

Since it is the month of Thanksgiving, let's challenge ourselves to focus on our thankfulness rather than our frustration, pain, confusion, anger....whatever it is that is keeping us from living in joy and freedom. We serve a good God who has good things in store! (Romans 8:28) I have found that when I thank God for even the hard stuff in my life, it softens my heart and wipes the bitterness away. When we trust that God is always working for good, we can be thankful for our trials knowing that they are producing good fruit and growth in us! This is not to say that pain isn't real, but it has been valuable for me to learn how to thank God through it.

For the month of November I will be making daily lists of all the little things, big things, and hard things that I am thankful for. Try it with me! (It's chessy so obviously it will be fun.)

the things i didn't instagram

This post brought to you by my mangled finger and burnt yam chips.

I am just a few photos away from having posted 1234 Instagrams. I like me some picture taking y'all. I love love love photography and don't get much time for it, so IG is kind of my outlet. I post a lot, and I will not apologize :) (I mean, you have the option to unfollow me so...)

I had a friend compliment my profile the other day and then tell me that she just never has anything Instagram-worthy to post. Which made me giggle in my head. Because really, do any of us? What even makes a moment "Instagram-worthy" in the first place? Also, if I admitted to you the number of times I go out of my way to get a decent Instagram, you would be embarrassed for me.

When I scroll through my personal feed I see sunlit flowers, cups of coffee, cute friends, design that inspires me....but in case I have given you the impression that I wake up every morning (on time) and put on an Anthro-tastic outfit and then stroll down a cobblestone street lined with impossibly perfect flowers to my favorite coffee shop where I design things all day because I have a stream of creativity that just never stops, let me clear that up for you right this moment.

This morning I woke up a half hour later than I intended because after a decade of using them, I still can't seem to figure out alarm clocks. I am a creature of habit so I threw on yet another denim shirt which I found semi-crumpled in the basket in the middle of my floor because my closest doesn't have a rack in it (an issue I am currently working on). Yeah, this dreamy nook I posted last week? It is literally the only tidy spot in my entire house right now. And by tidy I mean not covered in boxes upon boxes of goodness knows what.

Work was good, except I lost track of time finishing things and left 15 minutes later than I should have to beat any sort of traffic which resulted in minor law-breaking and internal cursing. I have low key road-rage issues...mostly of the interior persuasion. I've just got a need for speed, ok?

Fast forward to this evening when I arrived home after a birthday dinner for a couple friends. (Also, may I note that I did not post my Ali Baba Pitza even though it was delicious and had a perfect name? You're welcome.)

Before the dinner I stopped at Target to get a gift bag and on a clearance end-cap I happened to find a can opener which our house was in need of. When I got home I was taking the can opener out of its packaging, and like a heathen, I grabbed a knife. I distinctly remember thinking "This is a bad idea. I should go upstairs and get some scissors," but laziness won and I proceeded to not only open the packaging, but slice the side of my finger wide open as well. I swear I felt bone, but I'm too afraid to look at it.

After bleeding through three band-aids and trying desperately not to pass out –I do not do blood, people– I just sat there on my bed holding a paper towel on the cut willing it to stop bleeding. Insert full-on melt-down over cutting my finger and having no one to fix it for me. I literally turned into a giant baby right there on the spot. And then I rolled my eyes at myself, grabbed my keys and headed to Club Walgreezy* to get something to clean this battle wound with...and also maybe some more intense band-aids. I am referring to my cut as a battle-wound, because in the war against my own laziness and stubborn spirit, I almost lost a finger. Probably a tad dramatic, but I'm still a little woozy from the blood loss.

Upon returning and fixing my poor hand, I remembered there were sweet potatoes in the fridge about to go bad. I had intended to use them for yam chips,  so I sliced them up and started frying them. Making chips of any kind is always an interesting experience. I have yet to make a successful apple chip. They are continually too soft and then BAM black and crispy and forever glued to your favorite cookie sheet.

So you can blame it on the fact that I suffered minor trauma tonight, or maybe just chalk it up to being HUMAN, but I burnt my first round of chips. And set the smoke detector off. And then the smoke detector fell off the wall and probably broke.  Except I don't know because my finger started bleeding again. (I have ceased trying to convince my new roommates I am cool in any way.)

So maybe this was a particularly disjointed day in the life of Caitlin Elmore, but what I am saying is that in the midst of my incredibly human life I take pictures of the little things that catch my eye, edit them (usually in the bathroom, in line at Subway, or somewhere equally unglamorous), and post them for your viewing pleasure in hopes that you will do the same. (I have some accounts I seriously LOVE following.)

My life is not perfect and I know that yours is not either. For me, it's all about finding the beauty in the unexpected. Finding a little corner of the world that makes me look to my Creator and whisper "thank you."And occasionally clearing that ridiculous stack of junk mail out of the way and scooching (how on earth do you spell this) my coffee mug just a tad to left to get the perfect sunlit shot of my morning. (Fess up, we ALL have done it.)

I read an article not too long on the envy effect of social media. It was a good article. Because there are issues with it...like the need for "likes" many of us combat at one point or another. I think there is something to be said for checking yourself and your motives and taking time off from social media every once in awhile. But, I am also here to tell you that you do not have to feel guilty or fake for only posting the beauty in your life. Because realistically what are we expecting? Did you want to see a photo of my finger oozing blood with a filter slapped on top? No. You didn't. Because that is disgusting.

It is SO easy to feel envious of someone else's life and I am totally, totally guilty of experiencing this. But let's hold ourselves accountable to remembering that we are probably only seeing the good...and that's ok. I don't know about you guys, but I only show the deep, dark, raw parts of my life to a trusted few. I think that's ok too. It is ridiculous to assume that any one person on this planet is exempt from trial, frustration, pain, worry, financial struggle, identity issues...the list goes on. We live in a broken world. We are broken people. But Christ did not call us to dwell in this.

I am redeemed. Because of Christ I walk about in freedom and in joy. Not a circumstancial happiness type of joy, but an everlasting joy that no one can steal from me.  And in return I give thanks. I hope that the photos you see communicate the gratitude I feel for being loved so completely by a good, good God. He is SO faithful. In all things. And on a really crappy day, I see this message of hope in a flower poking through a crack in sidewalk or a sunset over the city I love. (A-K-R-O-N)

And let's all just remember the things that aren't being Instagrammed.

Like bleeding fingers and burnt yam chips and tomorrow's dentist appointment..............um, pray for me.

I write this as a reminder to myself: You live a good life given to you by a good God. "Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." (1 Thessalonians 5:18)

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*We have taken to calling the corner Walgreens "Club Walgreezy" or some variation on this name, mainly because of the amount of people legit chilling outside the store at oh, you know, midnight.

put on my blue suede shoes...

...except I don't own any. But if I did, you can bet I would be wearing them. I would like these ones, please and thank you.

I am currently sitting in the Starbuck's living room drinking an iced soy latte* from...Starbucks. You guys, this week I met people with the last name "Starbuck." Everyone PTL right now that this is not my last name because the puns and wordplay would never stop. If I know anything about myself, it's that I lack the ability to gauge when a joke is no longer funny. I will laugh at the same thing for years and years.

But in seriousness, it's really cool that I'm here. Two days ago I had never even heard of these people, and now I'm in their home and sleeping in their guestroom and eating all this wonderful food they are making for me. This totally beats a hotel. (FYI: hotels are sick nasty.) This is a cool "the church acting like the church" moment. (Sorry, I've been reading Jen Hatmaker and now this is all I think about.) It's humbling that this couple opened their home to total strangers just because they heard there was a need. Yes! This is how it should be!

So, to clarify, I am in Memphis, Tennessee. My staff director and his wife are involved with a wedding and I am in town to take care of their youngest so they can actually enjoy themselves. There's probably very few people on earth who enjoy hanging out with their bosses as much as I do. But they're not my bosses really, they're family. Eden, their youngest, is the cutest child in the entire world. I met her just days after she was born, she stole my heart, and never gave it back. So obviously I jumped at the chance to get to spend a whole weekend with her. (My best friend is allowed to be 13 months ok?)

After spending a day 1) in Memphis and 2) with a baby, here are some thoughts brewing in my mind:

Babies make really good dates. Probably not to like a movie or fancy restaurant or anywhere else where it would be totally inappropriate to make fart noises with your mouth and suck all the salt off a french fry...but otherwise, I stand by this statement. As long as they have napped, eaten, and are wearing semi-dry pants they are down for anything. Also, they never finish their food so you get at least half of whatever they are eating, and they will also laugh at all your jokes.

Memphis doesn't love Elvis as much as they have led us to believe. Ok maybe this isn't true. I didn't see the whole city, but I did walk around a good chunk of the downtown area. I really prepared myself for Elvis paraphernalia everywhere but this was not the case. Also, besides a few strange tourist items involving hearts and airbrushed Elvis portraits, anything related to the King of Rock 'n' Roll was really tasteful and well designed. I'm so confused.**

Someone should tell babies that staring is so rude. As I mentioned before, Eden is the cutest baby ever. My proof for the this rests in the fact that I was the single most popular person in Memphis today. People were chatting me up everywhere I went. For like two seconds. And then they would start a full on love-fest in Eden's face while she just stared back at them like they had ten eyes. Which only made them try even harder to make her smile. (Is this what mom's with babies go through every day in public?  The horror.) Anyways, Eden was not having it...even though shes really a Chatty Kathy who giggles at even the anticipation of being tickled. What a tease.

Starbucks is like a hug from mom. Ok so here is a mini rant in support of Starbucks. I love traveling. I love cities. I LOVE local coffee shops. BUT...sometimes you are in the middle of a city you have never been in before and it is 80 degrees and you are dripping sweat and your head is revolting against you until you pump some caffeine in it and you are in charge of someone else's kid and you really have to pee and you would like to sit somewhere for a moment and devise a game plan for finding all the perfect shops that aren't swimming with tourists and did I mention you have to pee and then you turn the corner and there it is. The green circle and the weird mermaid lady with the spaghetti hair. And you walk inside and you don't even have to look at the menu or figure out where you pay and where you pick up your drink. You know that no matter where you are in the world it will be exactly the same.  You are in Starbucks and you are safe.

Memphis is serious about food. One day I will come back here and eat my way through this city.

Babies are weirdos. I say this with only love in my heart. Anyone who knows me knows that I adore children. But seriously if I gave you a cracker would you stuff it down your pants? A baby would. A baby would also suck all the salt off their fries, the breading off their chicken nuggets, the sugar off their donut and they would also take giant gulps of water right out of their bath, soap and all.

Targets in different states have different things. This is not a thought. This is a true statement. True enough that I am considering a cross-country Target tour.


Strollers are amazing. If it wasn't totally unacceptable to push a stroller with out even having any children, I would go out and buy one tomorrow. Strollers add so much efficiency to life. That little basket under the seat is deceptive...you can fit SO MUCH down there. You will never carry a purse again. And forget about awkwardly juggling your drink while you try to go through the clearance jewelry rack at target. CUP HOLDERS. Also, pushing a child in one (uphill) is a total workout.

On that note, Men (or women) who do not hold doors open for someone pushing a stroller (or someone just walking) are rude rude rude. I watched door after door slam in my face today. Or better yet. The man who waited for me to struggle through the Barnes and Noble door before going in himself. Are you kidding me? Not cool, man.

Memphis probably looks amazing at night. Walking down Beale Street, there wasn't a single sign that wasn't made of neon-lights. I bet that place looks like my Christmas tree right now.

Baby cuddles are the best. The end. 

So there you have it. My super official guide to Memphis and babies.*** I will definitely be back to what seems like a lovely city...next time probably with someone who has the ability to sit at a bar stool and eat loads of BBQ. And as a closing note, how many years of life must I go through before I remember that Chick-fil-A is closed on Sundays? Constantly disappointing myself.

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*These are my love language. I like the kind that are giant and never run out. And just save your soy-isn't-good-for-you-in-mass-quantites speech. It tastes like magic.

**I'm sorry if it seems I'm not an Elvis fan, it's just that I'm not an Elvis fan.

***This is definitely not my first time around young children....being the oldest of eight and all.

10 things i am loving right now

1. The Lone Bellow
Get. on. this. bandwagon. So great.

Solid harmonies make me melt so I was in love in basically two seconds. The Lone Bellow is kind of like a spunkier Civil Wars (and I love me some Civil Wars).

All in unison we sing, at times, been redeemed

We are all of the beauty, that has not been seen
We are full of the color, that’s never been dreamed
Well, nothing we need ever dies

2. Crackers and Cheese

Like the snack. About two weeks ago I found myself craving crackers and cheese and it hasn't stopped since. I can't stop eating this perfect snack. I love it so much that it has graduated from snack status to lunch status in my life. Right now I am partial to whole wheat Ritz with sharp cheddar, but the possibilities are endless. 

3. Denim Shirts

People are referring to this trend as "chambray" but honestly, that just sounds like something Paris Hilton would name her dog, so I'm sticking with "denim." Anyways...I have hit a full on obsession I think. BUT they are perfect. You can dress them up or down. They look good tucked in or left open. They match everything. They come in so many different cuts and styles. You can use them as a cardigan. I sound like...not myself...but whatever. I'm in love, I'm in love, and I don't care who knows it! 

4. Hazelnut Coffee

We've made the switch from regular coffee to hazelnut coffee in the office and it has CHANGED OUR LIVES. It smells like heaven...which is fitting since we're located in a church. NOTHING smells more like a cozy hug than hazelnut coffee. And it tastes pretty great too. But really the scent of this liquid gold would be enough. I am a changed woman.

5. Chunky Yarn and size 17 needles

This is the perfect recipe for knitting something super fast. Unless it's a blanket, and then it will still take you forever. This is hands-down the coziest thing I've ever knitted, and since it's not for me, I am already giving myself pep-talks in preparation for having to let it go. (Based on #4 and #5 I feel like it's pretty clear than I have totally abandoned summer and embraced fall.)

6. Citizens - Citizens

 This album is so so good. I really appreciate good Christian music because it was so rare for so long. And now there's a gold-mine of awesome Christian music, but this album is particularly special. I love the message of grace in "In Tenderness." Ah so good!

 In tenderness he sought me, weary and sick with sin
And on His shoulders brought me, back to His fold again
While angels in His presence sang, until the courts of heaven rang.

He died for me while I was sinning, needy and poor and blind
He whispered to assure me: "I've found thee; thou art Mine"
I never heard a sweeter voice, it made my aching heart rejoice.

Upon His grace I'll daily ponder, and sing anew His praise
With all adoring wonder, His blessings I retrace
It seems as if eternal days, are far too short to sing His praise.

7. Dove dark chocolate squares

The women in my office got me hooked on these. I keep them in my desk drawer for those moments when I really need one (always). I don't have much of sweet tooth, but it turns out these little nuggets of perfection are my weakness. Also, all the wrappers come printed with a little message inside. A few weeks ago I had a particularly naughty bag that I'm pretty sure was trying to hit on me, but this current bag is behaving itself. Today it encouraged me to "do what feels right." Eating another chocolate square is what felt right, so I did. 

8. sending gifts

I will maybe never get over the fact that we can mail things to each other. I get how it works, but I also think a little part of me still believes that it is magic. I really, really love sending little packages to people...especially for no particular reason. I just put together a few "back to school" care packages for some special ladies in my life and it was super fun.

9. navy blue

This is the best color ever. Especially if it's a little dusty and has the tiniest hint of green. Don't worry, I haven't turned my back on gold. Nothing goes better with navy blue than a gold glitter accent. My favorite color changes quite a bit and usually revolves around what sort of project I am working on. The largest project I'm working on right now may or may not be mostly navy blue. (It is.)

10. "40 Days of Dating"

A friend told me about this a week or two ago, but honestly I have no idea how I hadn't heard of this sooner since so many of my design favorites are involved and it is totally up my alley. Basically two designers in New York have decided to date each other for 40 days using a strict set of rules. They are good friends with opposite relationship issues and they were both at a point when they were exhausted of dating. I love experiments (particularly of the social persuasion) and I am fascinated by the way people relate to one another. I'm also a design nerd. So really this is perfect. (Small warning: some of the content could be deemed inappropriate. I don't want anyone to start reading and be offended that I recommended this to them :))

I also sometimes feel like I am reading about myself when I read Jessie's stuff. We are SO SIMILAR in so many ways...and in others not so much. Also, she currently has the bangs I have been talking about getting for a year and half now.

They've involved a bunch of designer friends along the way to create illustrations for the site which is super fun. Also, from time to time they make little videos and they are so quirky and great. This one is my favorite: http://vimeo.com/72207777

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Now that summer is ending, I am excited to start getting some more guest posts on here, so stay tuned! This week the students move back, and next week starts the campus madness. I can't wait!

falling in love: a testimony of my rocky relationship with design

In 1994 I became obsessed with a show called "Pappyland." At this point in my life, I am convinced that I am the only child who ever knew this show existed. If you're too afraid to click the link, let me explain...it was a show about art. Pappy would draw something and you would draw along with him. My dad's office is still wallpapered with my Pappyland creations. Fast forward, I am a senior in high school and I'm pretty much obsessed with art. I was a good student in general, but this was the turning point where I dropped Statistics so I could have extra studio time. I created some stereotypical "high school" things and won a few awards and got a scholarship and got into art school...and then I went to Kent State. (Which I was initially bummed about, but it turned out to be the absolute best thing.) Between painting still-lifes and sketching nude models, I somehow stumbled upon Visual Communication Design (VCD). My childhood dream (besides being an all out R&B diva) was to illustrate books and VCD had illustration classes. So despite my lack of interest in graphic design, I made the switch.

VCD was (mostly) wonderful and I spent the next few years being completely sucked into the world of typefaces and color swatches and compositions. I had stumbled into one of the best design schools in the country and they were teaching me well. I learned that I would present approximately 300 terrible ideas before I landed on the good one and that even then it would take hours of tweaking to finally land on something worth using. You should never be so married to an idea that you can't let it go and Comic Sans is the equivalent of he-who-shall-not-be-named. It was fun, it was hard, I made a few friends, and I cried a lot (I'm chalking this up to too much caffeine, not enough sleep, and countless dollars wasted spent at Kinkos).

My senior year rolled around and the last thing I wanted to do was look for a design job. Or even put together a website. Looking back I believe I felt this way for a few reasons.

1. I was sucked up in other things that I thought were meaningful, but weren't, and I wasn't "all there" while I was creating. I wasted a lot of time and a lot of potential. (Don't worry, it bit me in the butt hard and I learned my lesson.)
2. Comparing myself to others + a disappointing set back led to a lack of confidence in my abilities.
3. I worked for a company that was world's away from what I wanted to be as a designer. It was a temporary position and when I left I was completely drained. (It was not a bad company in any way, and I am grateful for the opportunities I had while working there. I learned alot about an area of the industry I knew very little about...and so much about myself! It was definitely not time wasted.)

May 2012 I was completely burnt out on design. It felt like a chore and I remember thinking often, "If this is what being a designer is going to feel like, then I want nothing to do with it."

It is now a little over a year later, I have a design job that I love, freelance projects that excite me, and a brand new, shiny website in the works. What happened?

I fell in love.

Taking a year off allowed me to stop trying to push creativity out of myself just to please others.  I worked on very few projects bigger than doodling verses and quotes in my journal. And the more I did projects just for me, the more I started to develop a real style. I found designers and illustrators who are real and creating meaningful work today. And I didn't love them just because my design history book told me I should. (Saul Bass, you are still the man.) I collected inspiration and made note of work that I loved. I pored through issues of Communications Arts realizing that everyone featured was once a brand-new designer lacking direction like me...and then they got their crap majorly together. I read articles and books on design thinking (just for fun!) and was reminded that design isn't just about making someone's stuff look pretty. Designers are the ultimate storytellers (I could be biased...)

Maybe most importantly, I let go of being perfect...not every idea is great, but sometimes the most important thing is not how perfect the work is but just that you got it done. This is a job after all and I can guarantee that few people are judging your work as harshly as you are. I had been crippled by my own need for perfection.

It has been easy for me to look back with disappointment on how I treated some of my years in design school, but now that I am working everyday as a designer I can see so clearly how much I actually learned during my years at Kent. It turns out that no time was wasted...I just took a crazy roundabout way of getting here. Wherever "here" is.

I am now in a place where I am completely head-over-heels in love with design and I am really excited to find out what that means for my future. I do not want to limit myself to titles such as "designer" or "illustrator" ... I am those things, but when the ultimate Creator formed me, he made me to be a creator, a maker...I want to fully embrace that. I am often happiest and most myself when I have ideas stirring around my head and crazy projects I am working on.

Right now I am pretty much working the two best jobs ever (for me, right now, where I am) and I know this, because rarely does it feel like work. Just another cheesy idea that turned out to be totally true. I actually had that thought in the car the other day...Life is cheesy and we just need to deal with it. 

And as a final thought, after all these years, I am still not sure if the plural of still-life is "still-lifes" or "still-lives."

Coming soon: a new 10 things post! It's been awhile.

ALSO...I just signed the lease for a house that has an EVEN BETTER porch than the one I have now. Oh yeah baby.

things I love: real front porches

I am currently sitting on the front porch of my home for the month of August. (I would fill you in on my housing adventures, but I think I'll just wait until the TBD conclusion.) It is a real front porch with stairs and wood slats and pillars and room for chairs. I LOVE having a real front porch.

You could say it's always been a dream of mine to have a porch to hang out on. The house I lived in for the first 15 years of my life only had steps leading up to the door. And then we moved. And that house only had steps leading up to the door. And let's not even talk about my first apartment which didn't even have steps.

When I was really young I was so obsessed with porches that I would create Sims houses that were basically only porches. Like I'm talking wraparound decks on every single story. I was also 100% sure that i was going to live in a large house near the Target in Stow solely because it had a wraparound porch. It is now a fairly successful winery/restaurant and I doubt they are willing to sell. (Prime location though...they just built a Taco Bell next door.)

There are a few reasons for this life-long porch obsession.

1. I like nature, but I don't always want to be all up in its business. Sitting on a porch seems like a happy medium between never leaving your home and full on jungle exploration.

2. I am a bookworm and prime reading locations are vital to my existence. A prime reading location must be three things:

1. adorable

2. comfortable

3. within walking distance of a kitchen/coffee pot. And by "walking distance" I mean it should take me no more than 30 seconds to get there.

3. I'm nosy and what better way to spy on your neighbors than to sit in the front yard all day? Kidding (kind of)...but seriously, I like to know my neighbors and I sometimes I have romantic dreams about the "old days" when everyone just lived on their porches drinking lemonade and being best friends.

Also, porch swings. Sign me up.

I am pleased to say that having a front porch is living up to everything I ever dreamed it to be. Prior to this I was reading some Tim Keller that I can tell you very little about because my retention ability is nonexistent. But I do remember he said very wise things (typical) and I was enjoying it. And as I was reading, I was able to spy on approximately 7.5 new neighbors.

I am also being realistic though...I know that the future is uncertain and that this may be the only real front porch I ever get in my whole life. Which is why I plan to live on it for the next 25 days. Address your letters to me Harry Potter style. Caitlin Elmore, The Front Porch, 439 ....etc.

And to those of you who tell me  should blog more often...do you see now why I don't? My life is fairly uneventful and I have very few profound thoughts.Example: I just rambled about porches for a half hour. But, your wish is my command :)

Also, how many more times can I say "front porch?" Front porch. Front porch. Front porch.  

Up next week: an essay on how I feel about Anthropologie mugs. 

Not really. But I wouldn't be too surprised. 

peace, love, and perfectionism. (one of these things is not like the other)

Oh my. It has been awhile hasn't it? I always do this regardless of whether or not I say I won't. But the important part is, I'm back!

I have been reveling in the kindness and creativity of God.

I was not excited for this summer. Like at all. Which was not ok...I'm just being honest with y'all. It was sometime in early June, while sitting across from my awesomely wise and wonderful mentor that I was convicted of how not ok my poor attitude really was.

"Caitlin, when did you make this season so black and white? You have made your mind up for God and left Him no room at all to do something amazing."

Oops. Really big oops.

That was just a month and a half ago, but I feel a world's away from that girl. And not just because my circumstances changed, but because my heart changed. 

Heart change. That sounds so cute. Well, let me tell you, sometimes it is not cute. At all. And sometimes it is really painful.

Long story short –and I am aware that this is vague– I felt abandoned by God. Or maybe not totally by God himself, but by His love. Like I'm pretty sure I seriously had this ridiculous thought where I believed that God was still right there next to me, but for whatever reason was withholding his love.

My battle with perfectionism has been an ugly one. I have believed the lie (over and over again) that God will do what I want when I execute my faith perfectly. (Spoiler alert: this is not, in any way, in line with the gospel. At all.) SO...when things weren't exactly as I wanted them to be, obviously it meant that I was doing something wrong and God was punishing me for it. But, since this was more of a slap-on-the-wrist punishment than life-in-prison punishment, I obviously hadn't strayed that far. It was fixable, right?

In case you aren't following, this was a very (emphasis on very) skewed view of God and his love for me.

So the painful part went like this. To get me to a point where I would really take this identity issue seriously, God kind of stripped down my life of many of my normal comforts. And I read this book called Abba's Child that totally made me rethink what it means to be a child of God. To live within GRACE. (I also cried a lot. But, being an avid cryer for many years, this is nothing new.)

Oh. my. goodness. WHY do I so often seem to forget about grace? WHY is it so hard to accept this wonderful gift? Jesus gave all so that I could...forget about His gift and condemn myself on a daily basis?

wait...that doesn't sound right.

SO because I like to ramble and lists do a fairly good job of keeping me in line, here's a list of how Jesus changed my heart and how He is continually working in me:

1. "...for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God..." Caitlin are you listening? All. That's you. Trying to be perfect is a ridiculous effort that will only leave you confused and ready to throw in the towel. Embracing my brokenness without Christ is essential to learning to live within His love.

2. "...give thanks in all circumstances..." Do you know what is super awkward? Saying thank you for the things that are bumming you out. It feels forced and strange and just wrong. And yet, I felt extremely convicted to stop complaining about my situation and thank God for it. He is sovereign...and if I believe that, then I can give thanks in any circumstance. And so I started doing this thing where I wrote out prayers of thankfulness for all the things I had been wishing would change. And God changed my heart. Or rather, He lined my heart up with His and I started to recognize those challenging things as blessings.

3. "These have come so that your faith...may be proved genuine..." The hardships we face are not given to us at random. It's called refinement and it's a beautiful thing.

4. "...never will I leave you..." Bonus: we don't walk through trials alone. Ever. Unlike us, when Jesus says never, he means never.

5. "...for my thoughts are not your thoughts..." I fail at controlling my own life well because I have such a limited view. Whose thoughts should I value more, my extremely limited ones or those of the Creator of the universe? This is too obvious to bother answering.

6. "...I have loved you with an everlasting love..." This summer has been a continual reminder of God's never failing, constant love for us. (For me!) I know that He is constant not just because He has said it, but because I have experienced it firsthand. Even when I am on a roller coaster of faith and trust, God is totally constant. He is right there the whole time lavishing me in love. Nothing has been able to humble me more than experiencing God's love in the midst of my own disobedience. (Note: I am not encouraging you to do whatever you want because God will love you anyways. I am just saying that God's love is not dependent on your perfection. So breathe.) Also, just a thought, but if hardships refine us and make us better people with a bigger capacity to reflect the love of Christ...then isn't that also love that God would allow us to go through those things?

7. "...you have searched me and you know me...you created me in my inmost being..." God's love is not a cookie cutter that he stamps out and hands to each one of us. He knows us to our very core. God has been SO creative in providing for me. He has thought of things that I didn't even know were a possibility. We have nothing to fear when we hand our lives over to God. (Note: Again. I am not saying that we will be without hardship. See #3.)

Three weeks ago I was sitting in church. I had just been hired by said church and was attending my first service there in over a year. (I had attended during college but had spent the past year at the church I grew up in working in the nursery.) The worship band started into one of my favorite songs ever, "One Thing Remains."

Your love never fails, never gives up, never runs out on me.

All of a sudden all these things I had been learning came together and crumbled the worries that were consuming me to bits. (One of God's love languages with me is music.) I just felt a huge weight fall off my shoulders and I embraced God's love for me, regardless of my own performance, full on. It's nice. You know what it feels like? Peace.

"Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love, 

that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days"

Psalm 90:14

eggs bruschetta.

I have a lot of things I want to say and I'm not sure at all what direction to go with this. Mainly I'm deciding whether I should play catch up for the lack of posts or if I should write about last week or if I should just start with today because it was wonderful (so far.)

Today I woke up and these wonderful ladies were in my house...

...and we ventured to Hudson for breakfast at Yours Truly. Two thumbs way up for being able to eat outside in Ohio now. Except  after being in Colorado for a week (hold your horses, I'm getting to it.) the air just feels heavy. I appreciate the constant hug Ohio-air wants to give me, but honestly, I just need some space. And so does this hair. Summer = three months of afro.

So back up a couple days. Colorado. What can I say? To try to explain what time in Colorado does to my heart would be pointless.  Just know that on May 13th I left Kent feeling like a rung out rag and I came back on Sunday as a....I don't know, loofah? Whatever...Summits are refreshing, to say the least. 

I have spent at least 40% of my time traveling this year. I have put 15,000 miles on my car since October....mostly driving back and forth across Ohio. I have seen the interiors of nine different airports. This was also the year I learned how to pack up to two weeks of belongings into a carry-on. Add this to the list of things I did not anticipate when I joined Edge Corps. Granted, some of these were personal trips. I was in San Francisco for a little while which I think I failed to ever mention....

Flying from Ohio to Colorado Springs always proves to be an adventure. The climax of the voyage usually happens somewhere between Denver and Colorado Springs when you convince yourself that you are going to die. No matter how many times I do it, I am never prepared for the seventeen minutes of torture that is the flight from Denver to Colorado Springs. Just imagine a normal flight, except this time the plane is mostly shaking the whole time and every once and a while it almost falls out of the sky. Also, this time, our plane was teeny, had propellers, and had to be boarded from outside. This actually didn't make the flight any worse, but for the sake of drama, I will pretend it did. 

Summits (Edge Corps training) in Colorado are always good for heartfelt reunions, mountaintop chats, and climbing on things you probably shouldn't be climbing on. Also, add awesome food and cake at every meal to that list. 

Our free day this Summit found us on Mount Evans at Echo Lake. Be jealous. I cannot get over the beauty that is Colorado. (And don't really be jealous...you can totally just go visit it)

Yes there's snow, but it wasn't cold. It's the BEST.

After a quick hike, some inspirational mountain shots...

and a Great lakes meet up (minus a few)...

Also, Christian's scarf is a joke that snuck its way into this picture, but we're going to
pretend he really wears scarves, because I wish he did.

...we made our way to a legitimate gold mine. This was right up my alley. That is, once I realized a gold mine is nothing like a coal mine. My palms were dripping with sweat thinking about having to ride an elevator down underneath a mountain. That would give whole new meaning to this video.

Phoenix Gold Mine could have been the set of a TLC show. Or maybe A&E. Seriously, it could air right after Duck Dynasty. The first half of the tour was a 30 minute explanation of the owner's life and pretty much had nothing to do with gold mining. 

I learned three things while touring a gold mine. 1. There are millions and millions and millions of dollars of gold hiding out around the US that can never be mined because mountains will literally crumble to the ground. 2. Gold in its natural habitat is pretty much the same thing as gold glitter, except selling it will change your life and gluing it to poster board stars would be foolish. 3. Panning for gold is not my thing and would not at all be a lucrative career choice for myself. I did, however, enjoy playing in the water and singing Gold Digger.

The rest of the week was a mixture of worship, extended time with God, hiking, being silly, hanging out with dear friends you only get to see twice a year, rock star talks on faith, amazing workshops, actual meals that someone else cooks for you, solid dance moves, encouraging conversations, and more. 

So mostly, this post is a really weak representation of what was yet another life-changing week in Colorado. I will also leave you with a phone dump of the past month or so. (That makes up for not writing about California right?) As I think over the past few weeks and really this whole year, I am feeling 100% blessed to life the life I live. The theme of our Summit was Abide...something I would like to do waaaay more. But really, is abiding in Christ an action...something I do, or simply a way of life? How does one really abide deeply...day after day. I am inspired by the speakers from last week...older Navigators who have been walking with Christ for years and years and have learned how to abide deeply in their Lord day in and out. These are the thoughts circling round in my mind as I enter my second summer of fundraising. 

1. Floral interpretations of modern art at the deYoung Museum in San Francisco.

2.  All the treats I consume while in San Francisco, such as perfect creme brûlée. 

3. Perfectly foggy, grey days at the bridge ( and 20 year friendships).

4. Not a single inch of space goes wasted in San Francisco. 

Every corner is an opportunity for creativity and expression

5. Perfectly foggy, grey days at the beach.

6. When 7-year-olds set the Easter dinner table...

7. Birthdays, the best kind of days. You're literally celebrating the fact that 

someone was born, therefore giving you the opportunity to know them.

8. Exploring other people's hometowns.

9. No shoes are the best rain shoes.

10. More Cincinnati adventures. Why is this place so great?

11. Is it ok that my best friend is 3 years old? 

12. Fun little spring knitting projects.

13. More birthdays!

14. Receiving a whole box of tiny teacups in the mail. Can you say "day made"?

15. Mother's Day in the food court...it's hard to get a table for 10!

16. From roommates to pen pals. 

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That's it for now...happy tuesday!

10 things: lexie martin edition

Lexie is one of my favorite people in the entire world. (I'm allowed to have favorites right?) Lexie is part hippie, part rockstar and always awesome in every way. I have had the privilege of meeting weekly with Lexie for two whole years and I have loved every minute of it. She is a beautiful woman with a beautiful heart...she loves well and often. Lexie is currently working on her degree in Special Education at Kent State. She is also heavily involved with the Navigators and has a weekly radio show called "The Future" where she plays literally any type of music you could ever imagine. She also does one of the best Kristen Wiig impersonations ever. Ever. Just get to know her ok? This 10 things made me laugh as soon as I opened it. Mostly because it is 15 things without any explanation, but they explain Lexie perfectly. 

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just 10 things...

-middle parts
-coconut oil
-"A Praying Life" by Paul. E. Miller
-living in community
-the humans of Kinfolk mag.
-curry
-spoken word
-fairy houses
-wheat pasting!
-the promise of May and all it will bring!
-the kinship we have with brothers and sisters we've never met.
-a tan kavu rope bag
-sewing patches on things
-twenty one pilots
-not just dreaming of tattoos... getting them.

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Connect with Lexie!

Instagram: alexandraisin

10 things: Instagram

Today is a special day in the social media life of Caitlin Elmore. Today I posted photo number 1000 on Instagram. It's been quite the journey to get here...and it wasn't always pretty. I remember the days when I fell for the rugged charm of Kelvin and Nashville, but never again! Yes, I may still post too many pictures of food and babies, but I'd like to believe that one thousand photos in I have reached a new level of Instagraming. It's an art people, and I have practiced long and hard.

Posting photos is only half of it though. Or maybe like 75% of it. (I just really like taking pictures, ok??) You get to follow people too! I love seeing what other people find interesting throughout their days. I follow a lot of designers, photographers, etc. so scrolling through my Instagram feed can provide tons of inspiration. Some people are really, really good at instagram, while other people are just terrible (Anthropologie, I'm lookin' at you.)

So, in celebration of my 1000th photo, here are my ten favorite Instagram accounts (in no order)...Also, I chose not to involve friends in this list. These are accounts that I follow purely because I think their photos are lovely.

1. emersonmerrick

Amy Merrick is a florist living in Brooklyn, but working all over the place. Her arrangements are stellar. Some of her more recent work can be found in the lastest issue of Kinfolk magazine (hydrangeas in an ice cream cone anyone?) Her photos are mostly of flowers, but sometimes of cats, and always lovely.

Oh yeah, she knits too.

There's plenty more where this came from.

2. denisebovee

I initially fell in love with this user's bio: "Training my children to be explorers." I know very little about Denise, except that she runs a blog and she takes sweet pictures of her rockstar daughters. They are not actually rockstars, they are just both younger than me and cooler than me. I feel like I needed to clarify because ever since Hannah Montana, pretty much anyone could really be a rockstar behind the scenes. 

3. etst

Kelle Hampton is a photographer, blogging mommy, and author of the book Bloom: Finding Beauty in the Unexpected about her journey through having a child with special needs. Reasons you should follow Kelle: 1. Her children are adorable. 2. She lives in sunny Florida, so on dark Ohio winter (and let's be real, sometimes spring) days you can have a glimpse of sunshine. 3. Her positive outlook on life and ability to find joy in the small things will leave you smiling and appreciative of all the good around you. Also, I would totally recommend reading her book.

4. sarahshermansamuel

Sarah Sherman Samuel is a designer and the creator of Smitten Studio. She also lives in California. So basically, her photos are a mixture of design-y life and California scenes. I love the freshness of her photos. She also shares my affinity for posting food. So there.

I am predictably a sucker for photos involving coffee. And shots of your feet. 

5. hello_oskar

Is this the best Instagram account ever? Maybe. Oskar is a cat who wears a bow-tie a lot of the time. Every single picture is a cat picture. You're welcome.

6. katebingburt

Kate Bingaman-Burt is an illustrator and assistant professor of graphic design at Portland State University. Kate always has a million little awesome projects going and is constantly making and creating. (What Did I Buy Today?) You can find some of her projects laced throughout her Instagram. One of my favorites is "Bus Heads" where she takes pictures of the back of people's heads on the bus. She is funny and quirky and I am continually inspired by her creativity.

Also once she painted her nails with gold glitter. Soul sisters?

7. klodid

Klodjana Dervishi is a photographer in the San Francisco Bay Area. Enough said. Ample white space and soft lighting lend to the simplistic beauty of her photos. Also, cute kids. For sure one of my absolute favorites.

8.  oanabefort

Oana Befort is freelance graphic designer, illustrator and blogger. Her work is delicate and beautiful and I love it and I want to look at it all day.

9. annriflebond

Anna Bond is the mastermind behind Rifle Paper Co.  Rifle is one of the hottest things around these days. You can find their designs all over the place, most recently in Target and Anthropologie. Anna's Instagram is the best way to stay up to date with Rifle's latest and greatest...and to get a peak into what inspires her.

10. leesamantha

Samantha Lee is a blogger and kid's party planner. Her site Eatzy Bitzy focuses on one of her favorite hobbies, Bento making. Warning: cuteness overload.

So there you have it. Instagram. I love it.