I am currently sitting in the Starbuck's living room drinking an iced soy latte* from...Starbucks. You guys, this week I met people with the last name "Starbuck." Everyone PTL right now that this is not my last name because the puns and wordplay would never stop. If I know anything about myself, it's that I lack the ability to gauge when a joke is no longer funny. I will laugh at the same thing for years and years.
But in seriousness, it's really cool that I'm here. Two days ago I had never even heard of these people, and now I'm in their home and sleeping in their guestroom and eating all this wonderful food they are making for me. This totally beats a hotel. (FYI: hotels are sick nasty.) This is a cool "the church acting like the church" moment. (Sorry, I've been reading Jen Hatmaker and now this is all I think about.) It's humbling that this couple opened their home to total strangers just because they heard there was a need. Yes! This is how it should be!
So, to clarify, I am in Memphis, Tennessee. My staff director and his wife are involved with a wedding and I am in town to take care of their youngest so they can actually enjoy themselves. There's probably very few people on earth who enjoy hanging out with their bosses as much as I do. But they're not my bosses really, they're family. Eden, their youngest, is the cutest child in the entire world. I met her just days after she was born, she stole my heart, and never gave it back. So obviously I jumped at the chance to get to spend a whole weekend with her. (My best friend is allowed to be 13 months ok?)
After spending a day 1) in Memphis and 2) with a baby, here are some thoughts brewing in my mind:
Babies make really good dates. Probably not to like a movie or fancy restaurant or anywhere else where it would be totally inappropriate to make fart noises with your mouth and suck all the salt off a french fry...but otherwise, I stand by this statement. As long as they have napped, eaten, and are wearing semi-dry pants they are down for anything. Also, they never finish their food so you get at least half of whatever they are eating, and they will also laugh at all your jokes.
Memphis doesn't love Elvis as much as they have led us to believe. Ok maybe this isn't true. I didn't see the whole city, but I did walk around a good chunk of the downtown area. I really prepared myself for Elvis paraphernalia everywhere but this was not the case. Also, besides a few strange tourist items involving hearts and airbrushed Elvis portraits, anything related to the King of Rock 'n' Roll was really tasteful and well designed. I'm so confused.**
Someone should tell babies that staring is so rude. As I mentioned before, Eden is the cutest baby ever. My proof for the this rests in the fact that I was the single most popular person in Memphis today. People were chatting me up everywhere I went. For like two seconds. And then they would start a full on love-fest in Eden's face while she just stared back at them like they had ten eyes. Which only made them try even harder to make her smile. (Is this what mom's with babies go through every day in public? The horror.) Anyways, Eden was not having it...even though shes really a Chatty Kathy who giggles at even the anticipation of being tickled. What a tease.
Starbucks is like a hug from mom. Ok so here is a mini rant in support of Starbucks. I love traveling. I love cities. I LOVE local coffee shops. BUT...sometimes you are in the middle of a city you have never been in before and it is 80 degrees and you are dripping sweat and your head is revolting against you until you pump some caffeine in it and you are in charge of someone else's kid and you really have to pee and you would like to sit somewhere for a moment and devise a game plan for finding all the perfect shops that aren't swimming with tourists and did I mention you have to pee and then you turn the corner and there it is. The green circle and the weird mermaid lady with the spaghetti hair. And you walk inside and you don't even have to look at the menu or figure out where you pay and where you pick up your drink. You know that no matter where you are in the world it will be exactly the same. You are in Starbucks and you are safe.
Memphis is serious about food. One day I will come back here and eat my way through this city.
Babies are weirdos. I say this with only love in my heart. Anyone who knows me knows that I adore children. But seriously if I gave you a cracker would you stuff it down your pants? A baby would. A baby would also suck all the salt off their fries, the breading off their chicken nuggets, the sugar off their donut and they would also take giant gulps of water right out of their bath, soap and all.
Targets in different states have different things. This is not a thought. This is a true statement. True enough that I am considering a cross-country Target tour.
Strollers are amazing. If it wasn't totally unacceptable to push a stroller with out even having any children, I would go out and buy one tomorrow. Strollers add so much efficiency to life. That little basket under the seat is deceptive...you can fit SO MUCH down there. You will never carry a purse again. And forget about awkwardly juggling your drink while you try to go through the clearance jewelry rack at target. CUP HOLDERS. Also, pushing a child in one (uphill) is a total workout.
On that note, Men (or women) who do not hold doors open for someone pushing a stroller (or someone just walking) are rude rude rude. I watched door after door slam in my face today. Or better yet. The man who waited for me to struggle through the Barnes and Noble door before going in himself. Are you kidding me? Not cool, man.
Memphis probably looks amazing at night. Walking down Beale Street, there wasn't a single sign that wasn't made of neon-lights. I bet that place looks like my Christmas tree right now.
Baby cuddles are the best. The end.
So there you have it. My super official guide to Memphis and babies.*** I will definitely be back to what seems like a lovely city...next time probably with someone who has the ability to sit at a bar stool and eat loads of BBQ. And as a closing note, how many years of life must I go through before I remember that Chick-fil-A is closed on Sundays? Constantly disappointing myself.
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*These are my love language. I like the kind that are giant and never run out. And just save your soy-isn't-good-for-you-in-mass-quantites speech. It tastes like magic.
**I'm sorry if it seems I'm not an Elvis fan, it's just that I'm not an Elvis fan.
***This is definitely not my first time around young children....being the oldest of eight and all.
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